The Benefits of Failure

Losing Big, Winning Bigger 

“Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.” - Arianna Huffington

Let’s talk about Reshma Saujani, the fearless founder of the “Girls Who Code” organisation and a shining example of how failure can be the best thing that ever happens to you. Her story is proof that sometimes losing isn’t the end—it’s just the beginning of something epic.

Back in 2010, Reshma was working as a successful attorney with fancy degrees from Harvard and Yale. On paper, she had it all, but deep down, she wanted more. She dreamed of making a bigger impact, so she did something bold: she quit her job and ran for Congress in New York.

Now, running for office is no small feat—especially when you’re up against an established incumbent. Reshma campaigned hard, knocked on doors, gave speeches, and poured her heart into it. But when election day rolled around? She lost. And not just a little—she lost ‘big’.

Most people would have taken that as a sign to crawl under a blanket and binge-watch Netflix for the next year. But not Reshma. Instead of letting the loss crush her spirit, she had an epiphany: “The worst thing that happens when you lose an election is that you lose an election,” she said later. “The best thing that happens is that you get to go pursue your dreams.” 

Reshma realized that losing freed her from the fear of failure—and she decided to tackle a problem she was passionate about: the gender gap in technology. In 2012, she founded ‘Girls Who Code’, a non-profit dedicated to teaching girls coding skills and building their confidence to take risks and innovate.

Fast forward a decade, and ‘Girls Who Code’ has reached over 90,000 girls across all 50 states of the US! It’s helping young women break into tech—a field traditionally dominated by men—and creating a generation of fearless innovators who aren’t afraid to fail.

Reshma’s story teaches us that failure isn’t fatal—it’s just part of the process. Losing her election gave her the freedom to pursue her true passion and build something bigger than herself. So next time life hands you a big “NO,” channel your inner Reshma: dust yourself off, embrace the lesson, and go change the world!

Why Failure Is So Important

Let’s be honest: failure gets a bad rap. It’s the thing we dread, the word we avoid, and the experience we’d rather not talk about. But here’s the twist: failure isn’t the villain in your story—it’s actually one of the key things you weren’t aware you need to achieve the empathetic edge. Failure isn’t simply a bump in the road; it’s a launchpad for creativity, resilience, and growth. 

So, let’s grab a cup of coffee (or tea, if that’s your thing) and dive into why failure deserves a standing ovation. It’s not as scary as it seems—and it might just be the best thing that ever happens to you.

First things first: let’s stop treating failure like it’s the end of the world. Sure, it stings. It bruises your ego and makes you want to crawl under a blanket for a week. But here’s the truth—failure is often the beginning of something amazing.

Take Thomas Edison, for example—the guy who invented the light bulb. Edison famously said, “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” Talk about flipping failure on its head! Edison didn’t see his mistakes as defeats; he saw them as experiments. And guess what? Those experiments eventually lit up the world (literally).

Empathetic leaders know this better than anyone. They understand that every mistake is nothing but another step toward success—and they embrace failure as part of the process.

Failure Sparks Creativity 

Here’s a fun fact: failure is basically a creativity booster in disguise. When things don’t go according to plan, you’re forced to think outside the box and come up with new solutions. Empathetic leaders thrive in these moments because they see failure as an invitation to innovate rather than a reason to give up.

Take Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx. Before she became a billionaire shapewear queen, she faced rejection after rejection from manufacturers who didn’t believe in her product. Instead of throwing in the towel, Sara got creative—she pitched her idea directly to department stores and even demonstrated her prototype herself. Her willingness to embrace failure led her to revolutionise an industry and build an empire.

So next time you hit a wall, channel your inner Sara: get creative, stay bold, and remember that failure might just be your ticket to innovation.

Failure Builds Resilience

Let’s talk about resilience—the ability to bounce back after setbacks. It’s one of life’s most underrated attributes, and guess what? Failure is how you build it. Every time you fall flat on your face and pick yourself back up, you’re strengthening your mental toughness like a muscle at the gym.

Empathetic leaders don’t see failure as a reflection of their worth; they see it as feedback on their process. They know that resilience keeps them grounded—it reminds them that success doesn’t happen overnight but requires hard work and persistence.

Think about Oprah Winfrey—she was fired from her first TV job for being “too emotional.” Instead of letting this setback define her career, she leaned into her ability to connect deeply with people—a skill that ultimately made her one of the most beloved media personalities in history.

Failure hurts, no doubt about it—but every time you rise again, you’re proving to yourself (and everyone else) that you’ve got what it takes.

Failure Fosters Empathy

Here’s an unexpected perk: failing makes you more empathetic. Experiencing setbacks helps leaders understand what their teams are going through when things don’t go as planned. It builds compassion and allows them to offer genuine encouragement.

Empathetic leaders don’t just brush off failure—they share their own stories of struggle to inspire their teams. Failure isn’t just about learning lessons—it’s about connecting with others who are going through tough times and reminding them that they’re not alone.

Failure Creates Opportunities

Believe it or not, failure can open doors you never expected. Every time you fail, you’re forced to reassess your approach—and sometimes that leads you down an entirely new path filled with possibilities.

Take J.K. Rowling, for example. Before publishing ‘’Harry Potter, she faced massive rejection from publishers who didn’t believe in her story. But those failures helped her refine her craft and ultimately build one of the most beloved literary franchises in history.

Empathetic leaders understand this deeply—they don’t shy away from setbacks because they know those dark days make their victories shine even brighter.

Failure Makes Success Sweeter 

Let’s be honest: success feels way better when you’ve earned it through struggle. If everything came easily all the time, would we even appreciate our wins? Probably not! Failure teaches us to value success because we’ve seen how hard it is to achieve.

Consider Richard Branson and the remarkable empire he has built under the Virgin brand—Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Galactic, Virgin Records, and Virgin Money, to name a few. However, his journey hasn't been without setbacks. Ventures like Virgin Student, Virgin Cars, Virgin Brides, and Virgin Cola all failed to take off.

Reflecting on these experiences, the Virgin Group founder once said in an interview: "Whether it is launching companies like Virgin Brides and Virgin Cola that fell flat on their face, making the wrong call on investments, or simply forgetting to return a call or send an email, I have made hundreds of mistakes. I'm sure I'll make many more this year and learn valuable lessons from every error."

There’s nothing sweeter than succeeding after periods of failure—it’s like finally reaching the top of a mountain after climbing through storms and up sheer rockfaces.

Failure + Positive Thinking = Magic 

Here’s where positivity comes into play: empathetic leaders don’t just accept failure—they embrace it with optimism. They see every setback as an opportunity for growth rather than a reason for despair.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine when it isn’t—it means choosing to focus on solutions instead of problems. It means believing that every mistake brings you closer to success instead of further away from it.

Jacinda Ardern exemplified this during her tenure as Prime Minister of New Zealand. Even during crises like COVID-19 or natural disasters, she approached challenges with empathy and optimism—showing how positivity can help leaders navigate tough times while inspiring others.

Final Thoughts: Why Failure Is Your Friend 

Failure isn’t the big, scary monster we make it out to be—it’s more like that quirky, slightly annoying friend who always shows up uninvited but ends up teaching you something valuable. It builds resilience, sparks creativity, fosters empathy, opens unexpected doors, makes success taste sweeter, and encourages positive thinking. For empathetic leaders (and anyone chasing their dreams), failure isn’t just a detour; it’s an essential part of the journey.

Instead of running from failure, why not embrace it? When life hands you lemons—or hurls them at your head—remember that every misstep is another step closer to greatness. Failure isn’t the end of the road; it’s the beginning of something better. It where you find that empathic edge helping you to learn, grow, and discover your true potential and that of your teams.

So go ahead—fail big, fail boldly, and let failure be your guide. Who knows? Those lemons might just turn into lemonade… or maybe even lemon pie.

The Big Questions

1.     When was the last time you took a big risk, even if it didn’t work out? What did you learn from that experience, and how did it shape what you did next?

2.     How do you usually react when things don’t go as planned? Do you bounce back like Reshma, or do you need some time under the blanket first?

3.     Can you think of a “failure” that actually opened up a new opportunity or helped you discover something you’re passionate about?

4.     How could you use your own stories of setbacks to inspire or support others on your team when they’re facing tough times?

This article is from Neil latest book, ‘‘The Leadership Book -achieving the empathetic edge’’, which will be published in January 2026